you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
what day is it and did you see me today?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize