Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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