JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
