is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
