do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
