White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
