try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
