Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
