Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
