i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
