Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize