blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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