I want to stick my p in your. b.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
