I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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