So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
