We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize