I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Text me some of your sweat
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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