areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
