My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
