He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
