You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
