u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
