I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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