So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize