i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
