can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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