remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
