11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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