If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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