I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
