Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
