hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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