yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
