It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
