I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
