I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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