So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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