I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
