your thong is hanging out like whoa
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize