Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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