Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How does one acquire holy water?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
