What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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