was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
worst night to have a conscience
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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