By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
