At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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