he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
