She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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