remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize