he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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