he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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