i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize