Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize