Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
