dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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