Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
