I think I died a long time ago.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
