just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize