My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
