Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
