Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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