Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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