I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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