OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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