We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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