I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
