even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
