Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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