we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
