You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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