We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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